Looking back at my pre-mumme days I can remember what it felt like to have time to immerse myself into my daily tasks, a hobby, a book or even a conversation. Life seemed slower then. I set the pace and I was able to control it in most scenarios. What I wanted was available. If I needed a nap I could nap, if I wanted a hot meal it was as simple as cooking the dish, sitting down and enjoying it. I was able to turn the TV on and off when I pleased and no one was going to get in the road of my happiness.
Fast forward to now and life is a little different. The chaos of daily life with 2 young children can really pay a toll on your physical, emotional and mental well-being. It is a constant dance between what I want, what they want and it generally lands somewhere in-between. Finding the balance in family life is a struggle and the chaos both physically at home and mentally is inevitable.
I have had my fair share of breakdowns and yelling episodes as I negotiate my way through the daily roller coaster ride of dealing with a toddler, a baby, a husband, work, household duties and some very important Me time! My programming can play out, like a broken record…that ‘I can’t do it’, ‘I’m not good enough’…or ‘that’s not fair’! It can stop me in my tracks and make me feel powerless. The real truth I have realised is, that I have been giving my power away. So, I now choose not to listen to this recording anymore. I change the channel or hit the mute button as my children need me to act, need me to be available and need me to lead them.
There is no set formula that will give you what you want. It is a process of negotiations. Negotiating your time, your priorities and what really matters in your life. So as I try my best to negotiate my way through life as a mumme, I try to relish in the small moments…the ones that happen without any effort whatsoever. It could be a smile, a laugh, a funny comment or just a special moment that makes you smile. It doesn’t get any better really!
Life is not going to change unless you decide to make it better. Small baby changes each day over time can have a profound impact on your life.
I have found that at times I need to pause, stop before I react. Sometimes I leave the room as my son tries to negotiate what he wants when it is bedtime. This space gives me time to reboot the system and gives me power to react in a different way (instead of yelling at him!). It doesn’t work all the time as I am human…but I am aware. My son has ignited emotions in me that I haven’t felt for quite sometime. Being mindful of my interactions with my children helps to ground me and be present.
Another way I give back to Me is to be grateful. Each night I reflect on my day…3 things I am grateful for. Most times it is about my family and friends as this is what brings me happiness and makes my heart sing. This ritual has really helped me to retrain my thoughts and give me clarity and remind me in the chaos of life how lucky I am!
I have also had to drop my standards of productivity. I can’t get everything done that I used to and definitely not all at once. Interruptions are inevitable and I had to stop fighting them and go with the flow. This has been a tough mumme battle to break!
So as I go about my mumme days, one thing I am aware of is that the relationships I have matter. The way I have made my loved ones feel and how I have been available and present to them counts. The chaos will continue to roll in and out of my day but, I know I have the power to choose my reaction and my outcome. I will endeavour to look through my childrens’s eyes so we can enjoy the messiness of it all and make the most of every precious moment we have together on mother earth.
love n life
PS: I look forward to sharing more mumme tips n tricks along the way…to help us find the ME in mumme!