Now that you have gained some awareness & become more conscious (mind=thoughts/body=sensations) about your triggers/challenges & what ruffles your feathers…it’s time to SLOW it all down YES slow it all down & add some distance (space) between YOU & the trigger/challenge/event/incident.
Sounds easy? Well it’s damn hard! To shift & change our natural pattern/behaviour to REACT is like going against the flow of what we know well (& do well!) & what we have always done! It’s like going against the current…BUT the good news is we are ultimately paving NEW neural pathways in our brain that regulate our emotions…thoughts & reactions…to assist the CHANGE at a molecular level & disrupt the ‘old’ pathways & patterns.
So our brain is changing & adapting according to our NEW behaviour. YAY!
By now we know if we do the same…we get more of the same. So it’s time to choose differently & wisely from a calmer more spacious place within.
Do not expect miracles in 1 week…you may nail it once & then regress just like our children do.
Take it slow…ease into it BUT remember to stay present & keep your awareness heightened. To change our behaviours & reactions we must be aware of what’s going on within us & around us…just as if you were watching it all on a screen before us OR from a birds eye view…& then we need to do something DIFFERENT (that is stop/pause/focus on your breathe). If you go at the situation & dynamic with more reactive energy you will be met with MORE reactive energy.
Choose different & you will change the dynamic & energy between you & your child. This shift will also take you out of your Fight & Flight response (stress response =automatic & reactive) & keep your brain more attuned to a less reactive state…& allow for the Frontal Lobe to be activated which assists our problem solving & decision making skills. What mama doesn’t need a little more of this?!
So try it out…if you fail miserably you fail miserably…end of story. Do not take the fail into your next moment nor the next. It is all a learning experience.
Get to know YOU in the challenge & remember we are also learning alongside our children. Once the incident/trigger/challenge has past…DECONSTRUCT IT. This is an essential step NOT to be missed. Ask yourself…What did I learn? What lesson was this trying to teach me? What worked? What didn’t? Was I in the moment? Or was I in a past or future moment when it all unravelled? Was I calm? Was I spacious? Or was I reactive? What needs to shift? How do I need to shift? What do I need to let go of?
Go forth & find some space & calm this week. Remember the pause & follow your breathe. You’ve got this!
The information shared on the WILD Network is for educational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical, business, legal, financial or other advice. Every individual and situation is unique, and you should consult the appropriate professionals to determine the appropriateness of the information for your situation.